BIG IDEA: The best personal statements (this is the type of essay you are writing for your college applications and scholarships) show off your personality and reach out to the reader as if you were sitting in the room having a deep and meaningful conversation about the core essence of who you are. The introduction is an important step in building to that goal. Your intro must engage the reader and compel them forward in your story.
How do I “engage and compel” my reader? There are three ways:
1. Present a problem that must be solved
2. Start with a detailed image that doesn’t at first make any sense
3. Just start the essay
If you are wanting a space and guidance to think through what to write about, how to approach this essay, and feedback on how to take it from good to great, you might be a good fit for our College Essay Workshop. It's an intensive but phenomenally productive two days. We cram the class time full of examples and instruction, then you draft in between sessions, getting high-quality feedback on day 2 from two instructors in a class size with low student numbers. Registration is here (three spots left).
How do I “engage and compel” my reader? There are three ways:
1. Present a problem that must be solved
- “When I flipped to the last page of the first precalculus exam of my junior year, a tornado of numbers smacked me in the face.”
- “As I sat in my chair, I started to shake. It was the nerves. Wiping my hands on my black cotton dress, I stood reluctantly to walk to the bench, suddenly regretting my decision to wear stilettos (the piece didn’t require pedals, and I’d foolishly taken it upon myself to wear fancy footwear accordingly).”
- “Keeping my head down and avoiding eye contact, I tried not to attract attention. Drunken shrieks and moans reverberated through the darkening light of the bus stop, while silhouettes and shadows danced about. My heart pounding, I hoped I would survive the next 40 minutes. I had never seen the homeless at the stop act so deranged. But I had never been there so late.”
2. Start with a detailed image that doesn’t at first make any sense
- “The idea that in the morning, LeBron James, somewhere in Ohio, brushes his teeth with the same Crest toothpaste I have sitting by my sink is amazing to me.”
- “Baba opened the door and embraced the dark-featured man on her stoop. His tallness enveloped her, making her short stature almost comically diminutive. She shooed us to the living room, flipping on Crocodile Hunter and pointing firmly at the couch where we were expected to stay. We didn’t sit still there for long.”
3. Just start the essay
- “In the back of my closet, amidst winter coats and old family keepsakes, sits the trumpet that once belonged to my great-grandfather, Lawrence Axelson.”
- “The Oath of the Night’s Watch begins with a vow: Night gathers and my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I share more than just a name with one of HBO’s most famous characters; Jon Snow and I share a sense of purpose: a determination to live a principled life of leadership.”
If you are wanting a space and guidance to think through what to write about, how to approach this essay, and feedback on how to take it from good to great, you might be a good fit for our College Essay Workshop. It's an intensive but phenomenally productive two days. We cram the class time full of examples and instruction, then you draft in between sessions, getting high-quality feedback on day 2 from two instructors in a class size with low student numbers. Registration is here (three spots left).
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