Years ago, my mother forced me to be in cotillion. That meant once a month I had to put on some dumb dress with a doily wrapped around the neck, dig in my drawers to find a matching pair of white gloves, and go stand around a stuffy country club ballroom with a bunch of other awkward middle schoolers. I was a good seven inches taller than all the boys, which did not make things any easier on my self-esteem.

I hated it. I was much more comfortable in a ponytail and dirt rubbed sweatshirt from the softball field. But she made me go dutifully every month (matching gloves or no), and despite my grumbling, I actually learned a thing or two.

At the end of the night, after all the waltzing and choosing of the correct fork was over, we had to say thank you to the evening’s hosts. There was a formula for the thank you, which I recited so often it was thoroughly committed to memory.

Now, in my work helping students plan for college, I teach the formula for the perfect thank you note. I ask students to send charming, memorable notes to most everyone who helps them along this journey: teachers who write recommendation letters, high school counselors who give good advice, college tour guides and professors, admissions officers, and so many more.

It’s important to say thank you. It takes the support of all kinds of people to help you get into the school where you will be most successful. Thank you notes are not only the right thing to do, but they can make a difference in the quality of support you get, the impression you make, and the way you are remembered.

Colleges want polite, mature students. That means if while you are on campus a professor takes the time to talk to you about a program you are interested in, or if a tour guide helps you to explore a school, or if your teacher agrees to write you a letter of recommendation despite the zillions of other things she has going on, you need to say thank you.

So how should you do that? Here’s the formula:

 Dear So-and-So,

 Thank you so much for…  I especially appreciate how you/the way you… (INSERT SOMETHING SPECIFIC TO THE PERSON/WAY PERSON HELPED YOU HERE).  I’m excited about the opportunity to...  Thank you again for all your support/encouragement/advice/counsel/assistance/guidance.

Sincerely,

You (full name, legibly signed) 

There’s nothing too fancy about it, but you’d be surprised how many students do not send these important little notes. Of course, you are not just any student and will certainly send thank you notes along your way.

Remember to be prompt and proper. That means no emails or texts. Send a handwritten note, and send it right away. Address the envelope legibly and include your return address.

That’s it! You are well on your way towards being the type of student a college would be lucky to have on campus.

Have more specific questions? Want help? Email me: [email protected]

Hunched over the dining room table, parents and students everywhere are weighing which classes to circle on that planning sheet the school counselor handed out. Littering the list are a slew of acronyms and choices: AP, PAP, CTE, IB, Dual Credit, Independent Study, and the list could go on. Yikes! What’s a kid to do?

Many top-notch students and parents choose to load up on the AP classes because they have heard that’s what it takes to get into college; AP is, after all, the standard bearer of rigor on the high school transcript.

But here’s the dilemma: not all those APs are going to transfer as college credit. That’s fact. APs are more challenging, so the risks of getting a B or a C are greater. And in order to get a chance at college credit, a student must take and pass the AP exam: passing the class is not enough. So the question is, are AP classes “worth it”? What’s really important to a college?

It’s been estimated, based on surveys of admissions officers at different institutions across the country, that approximately 75% of the admissions decision is based on three things: GPA (especially junior year), rigor of schedule, and standardized test scores (SAT or ACT). With this in mind, the need to choose classes that demonstrate your willingness to challenge yourself in high school becomes clear. It’s amongst the most important ways you can put together a strong application. But rigor is different for everyone.

One argument for taking AP classes is that you get an extra boost in your GPA (at most schools) which can propel you forward in class rank. However, some may be quick to point out that the college may not even consider your weighted GPA, and awards little credit to your class rank (unless you are valedictorian or top ten). This is true. Colleges are going to recalculate your GPA according to their own system, but GPA is not the whole picture. You cannot look at GPA without also looking at the rigor reflected by that GPA. These two pieces of the puzzle are inherently tied together, and for good reason.

The student who makes all As in “regular” classes is not impressive (in this facet alone). Colleges view that student as one who should have been in classes the next level up, working harder and learning more, even if that means he/she gets a B. B’s are fine. I like Bs. So do colleges.

On the flip side, the student who is in all APs but taking home a couple Cs is likely a student who is overextended. That student gives the admissions officer pause. “Will this student be able to handle classes here at this college?” one might think, and then place your application in the “no” stack.

So the recommendation as to whether those AP classes are worth it or not is an individual one. There’s no right or wrong answer here. It’s about how much your student can handle and what his or her interests are. It’s okay, even for Stanford, to choose to take AP classes just in Literature and Government, while taking standard classes in the other subjects. If those are your strengths and that’s all you can handle, fine! Go that route.

GPAs, classes, and test scores are (fortunately) not the whole picture. There’s so much more. In fact, at the most competitive colleges, what’s behind the numbers is often what matters most. So after you have chosen your classes based on what’s the best fit for you, my advice is to figure out what else you have to offer. What are your skills? How can you use those skills to be innovative? Make something that wasn’t there before. Help solve a problem in your community. Go get some work experience in a field that interests you, then use that knowledge for good. Those are the things colleges really want to see, but they are going to look at the numbers (GPAs, SATs) first.

Read more about the “AP Dilemma”

• NYT: Dartmouth Stops Credits for Excelling on A.P. Test
• HuffPo: AP Exams Are the Biggest Scam in American Education (OPINION)
• Stanford News: Are AP courses worth the effort? An interview with Stanford education expert Denise Pope

Have more specific questions? Comment below or send me an email: [email protected]. 

Please join us at The Tutoring Center, Flower Mound on April 18th at 2:30pm for a free talk on college admissions brought to you by the college admissions experts at Guru Academic Advising. Share with others who are interested! RSVP required as space is limited. Call (972) 874-1999